My dear Ariff..nearly 14 months

one tree on the hill...

It was sunday, and i was tired, and there it was, one tree hill...It was my first session with Lucas and Nathan, with Haley and Peyton. I got hooked up....since than my view on teenage drama changed...

It is amazing to feel warm with the storyline. It is rewarding to see the nature of teenage guy exploring the questions in his life, creating his own path, with ways that rather close to my heart.

The issues that were highligted, were like a deja vu....u can really feel and actually, being in his shoe. At least there, it was a TV show, showing a teenage guy, living his days and growing up, in a different way, have session of crying, being lonely, having a small number of fren, show his fear and uncertainty in some issues,open up to his moms about anything, having a girl as his best fren, pondering about qns in life and the best thing, is in touch and sincere to his heart.

Yupp, it maybe a lame drama for some....but it is a drama...where i felt i can connect my feeling with. The reactions were familiar. At least till now...

I like the part....where the teacher asked the students to right one single thing that they want at that moment...and he wrote "Answer"....we always do...

They can say ....

Hmm, i met with someone yesterday.."Adli, betul ke......etc etc etc". I guess people will never puas hati, to let other people have their own life and be just plainly what they are. Sometime i wonder how these people manage to say something bad about you behind your back and than still can show their face, saying sweet words, in front of you and pretend like they did nothing. Yupp, they don't know that i know, but isn't guilt is there?

I guess it come to certain point, where i had become "numb" to these kind of things. Nevertheless, i still feel really sick when i think of how great their acting were. At one point, i really hope they just be harsh, say it out loud, show what they really feel, rather than pretending. The other say they had to act nice to me, for lot of other reason which for me is ridiculous if they really really hate me.

It is so hard for me to show my face and to be there, looking at them trying to "mengampu". Everytime i had to be around them, i had unexplain symptoms, felt wanna puke, great discomfort, and so on. When it time to get out, it is like freedom to a prisoner. I hate feeling like that, but i can't help it....i can't stop wondering ....why they can't stop pretending..?

I don't do anything to them, i didn't touch them at all, neither talk about them...Why can't they just leave me alone with my life....?

Biased...

Am i biased?

Tah laa...susah nak really evaluate ourself..but i guess to be biased is normal, we must be a real someone if we don't...

Liking a someone...is dat a biased there ...? Someone maybe will deny it for sure, but as i was looking at it, when i was on my way upstairs to my room...,when we like something,than biased will eventually be there...(however, saying dat maybe applied...for most of the population...3-97% of population i guess...)

Parents will always have biased towards their kids,compare to other childrens...whatever the kids say about what their parents said to them...an excellent and outstanding student will always be in the teachers' heart,even the teachers tried to ignore and care less about him/her....a girl/guy will always denying in their heart, even they agree physically with their collegues when they discuss something bad about the other half...we will alwyas protect our religion when people try to destroy it.....so...isn't all this .....in a way... biased?

Maybe kita dah salah anggap the word biased by itself....it is not like perkataan "pelacur", "liwat", or "bodoh"...that always bring a negative impact...biased...infact...is a natural mechanism, nature response towards liking and love of human...or even any creatures in the world...

I am biased.......and i'm biased!!